(Frequently Asked Questions)


This Section contains some of the most frequently asked questions about Virginia Friends.  If you do not find what you are looking for or need more clarification please feel free to contact us.


     How do we become members of your club?   Is there a membership fee?

Joining Virginia Friends is very simple.  All you need to do is pick a social you would like to attend and RSVP for that date. Most couples do this the same month the social is being held. When you show up for the social you will be asked to fill out your new membership forms and pay an annual membership fee (found on our Fees and Charges page) along with the regular dance fees.  That's all you have to do to join.  Although some clubs do not require a membership fee, Virginia Friends is a privately run club and, by law, memberships are required to join and attend club functions.

       Are walk-ins allowed, or must we RSVP?

     Yes.  Walk-ins are allowed, but we highly recommend you RSVP.  This will allow us time to enter you into our system and generate your name tags.  By RSVPing on time, you will be qualified for reduced event rates when applicable.

        What are the fees and charges?

Please go to our Fees and Charges page for listing.


       If we join and we decide that this is not for us can we get a refund?

     In order to qualify for a refund you must do the following:  You must show up for the "New Couples Seminar" on Saturday.  You must show up Saturday night only.  If you attend Friday night there are No refunds.  You must pay up front the social fee plus the membership fee.  If you ask for a refund ( the membership fee will only be refunded not the social fee ) you must do so BEFORE registration shuts down.  Shut down times will be listed on the website and sometimes change depending on the social ( usually 10:00pm ).  If you or your spouse goes upstairs to the party floor during or after the party then there are NO Refunds,  Period.  Once you ask for a refund you can not attend for at least 13 months and will not be given the same refund privilege of a refund if you join again.  We have these rules as there are some couples who tend to abuse the system.


        What sort of people are in the lifestyle?

Average people such as yourself.  Primarily in the socio-economic middle to upper class.  Members are mature, happy, and exploring people with a zest for living and a curiosity of life who on the average enjoy a good relationship.

        Why swing?

Contrary to popular belief couples do not get involved in the lifestyle out of boredom but out of a sense of adventure instead.  Basically it is couples who already enjoy a good relationship and want to add another dimension. It is a shared experience that appeals to their sexual and emotional needs and fantasies. 
Allowing couples to explore these desires together rather than apart. Couples with troubles in their relationship are cautioned not to get involved in the lifestyle.


        Should everyone swing?

No.  With so much to recommend, like many other things, swinging is not for everyone.  If swinging poses a threat, or is not of interest, to either part of a couple, swinging would not be pleasurable therefore not advised.  If it is something of interest to both parts of the couple, and you feel able to handle it, explore swinging and the experience.


        Is the lifestyle as fun and exiting as I have heard it is?

You bet it is!  It is every bit as erotic, exciting, and fulfilling as you imagine it to be. You can explore your favorite fantasies securely!  You can engage in private and intimate sexual activities, share your mate in a threesome, enjoy another couple, or engage in the famous group swinging, all in one evening!


        Can our relationship be damaged at a swing club?

As we have stated before, if you are having problems in your relationship, or swing does not appeal to both parties in a couple, swinging is not recommended.  But for secure open minded couples, relationships reportedly have generally been improved with swinging.  It is a shared activity that promotes understanding, intimacy, honesty, and communication.


        Do we have to join any activities?

NO!  Absolutely not.  You are free to experience your own erotic adventure without getting others involved if you so choose.  Many are just looking for a little extra excitement to spice up their own relationship. Some members are active in the lifestyle, some are exhibitionists, others are voyeurs, some are into fetish wear.  Yet all are open minded, fun loving people.


        What kind of music do you play?

We have  a DJ that plays the best of today's latest sounds.


        Is there a dress code for the club?

Generally speaking,  for men is a pair of dress slacks and a sports shirt while ladies come dressed sexy and sensuous without being "overly" exposed.  Many members look for the theme of that evenings event and come dressed accordingly.  The main thing to stress is to dress for yourself, be comfortable but not sloppy or trashy!!


        What is the average age?

While age is not an issue, our members generally range from the late 20's to the early 50's with the bulk being between the 30's and 40's.


        Are our names given out to outside agencies or other club members?

NO!!  Never.  Your name, address, and phone numbers are personal and kept strictly confidential!  We never give out this information even to other club members without your permission.


        We are a minority or interracial couple. Will we be discriminated against?

The club does not discriminate based on age, color, creed, social class, education, or income. We are an EOLO (Equal Opportunity Lifestyle Organization).  Some couples fantasize about having sex with another race. I.E. A lot of white women's fantasies are about being with some one of another color and visa versa.  This is about variety, the spice of life!


        What if we meet an acquaintance?

If this happens it will be a surprise for both parties.  Greeting each other is the best thing to do.  Most of these types of meetings will result in a better relationship with that acquaintance.  Remember, they are there for the same reasons you are.  They are not going to tell anyone you were there because you could tell on them.  Probably you will have a good laugh in the beginning and might benefit from the friendship you already have.


        Can a woman ask another woman to dance?

Sure, a lot of women who come to the club are attracted to other women. When the feeling is mutual it may end up in a very erotic experience. Displays of  bisexuality is accepted and encouraged among women while it is strongly discouraged among men.  This is the general conception throughout the lifestyle.  Call it what you will, but just watch any porn movie. You will never see two men together in a "straight" film, but will always see women together. 


        We are very shy but would like to meet another couple.

As a group members are friendly and outgoing people, but it's a two-way street.  You should introduce yourself to others.  If you are unusually shy, or the group appears cliquish, ask the host to make some introductions for you.  Don't be a wall flower.  Also don't set your expectations too high. Look for couples within your own age group, weight, cleanliness, etc. This could avoid a disappointing evening. 


        Can we be up-front about our sexual likes and dislikes?

It is essential that everyone know up-front what they are getting into, and avoid an embarrassing situation later on.  As a rule of thumb it is always good to let the other couple know what your limitations are.  It is generally easier if the two couples can go off and discuss your limitations before an encounter rather than during.  Then let the girls lead the way.


        Because we are local and our schedule is unpredictable, is it mandatory we get a room in the hotel to attend?

No.  It is not mandatory you get a room.


        We are very curious about the lifestyle. Can you send literature?

Because of the wealth of information on the net,  we feel everything you need is there.  Please take time to look through some of the links on our Resources pages.


   I saw on your site that single females can attend. Can you give me a rough estimate on how many?

Sometimes two to three though it may vary.  There is no certain way to tell exactly how many single ladies will attend at any given time. 


   Is your Friday night social the same as Saturday Night?  What should we wear?  How many couples should we expect?

First,  if you notice that the social starts at 9:00pm.  This is because most people work on Friday so we start the social a little later.  This gives people time to go home from work, get ready and a little extra time to get to the hotel.  Also,  there are allot of couples that come from DC, Hampton Roads,  Western VA, NC and even MD.  Again, most people dress to impress however anything but ripped up pants or nasty T shirts.  This is not a  low class club.  Nice jeans are fine.  There are about a third the amount of couples that show up for Fridays dance.  There is no theme unless it lands on a holiday.

   This is our first time to VAF.  Since the "New Comers Seminar" is only on Saturday night can we still come on Friday.

By all means!  If you have been to another club it should be no problem.  Even if you are new to the Lifestyle and feel comfortable,  then you should check it out.  Its a good way to get a head start and meet people in a calmer atmosphere.  Just abide by the club rules, all ABC laws and respect the hotel staff.  If you have any questions please see the security personnel.  Just don't use the excuse,  "I didn't know".


Very Important!!!

Do not allow yourself to be forced into a situation you are uncomfortable with.  You should never feel pressured to do anything you do not wish to do. You are at the club to have fun.  Being coerced is not fun.  So if anyone persists after being told no, please tell the club hosts or security.  Respect others' right to privacy and be discreet.  What you see, hear, and where you saw it is all privileged information.  DO NOT abuse it. 


New Couples should also click here for additional Info


Join the Virginia Friends mailing list

Virginia Friends, 2001.  All Rights Reserved.