Section contains some of the most frequently asked questions about
Virginia Friends. If you do not find what you are looking for or need
more clarification please feel free to contact us.
do we become members of your club?
there a membership fee?
Joining Virginia Friends is very simple. All you need to do is
pick a social you would like to attend and RSVP
for that date. Most couples do this the same month the social is being
held. When you show up for the social you will be asked to fill out your
new membership forms and pay an annual membership fee (found on our Fees
and Charges page) along with the regular dance fees. That's
all you have to do to join. Although some clubs do not require a membership fee, Virginia
Friends is a privately run club and, by law, memberships are required to
join and attend club functions.
walk-ins allowed, or must we RSVP?
Yes. Walk-ins are allowed, but we highly recommend you RSVP.
allow us time to enter you into our system and generate your name tags.
By RSVPing on time, you will be qualified for reduced event rates when
are the fees and charges?
Please go to our Fees and Charges page for listing.
If we join and we decide that this
is not for us can we get a refund?
In order to qualify for a refund you must do the following: You
must show up for the "New Couples Seminar" on Saturday. You must
show up Saturday night only. If you attend Friday night there are
No refunds. You must pay up front the social fee plus the
membership fee. If you ask for a refund ( the membership fee will
only be refunded not the social fee ) you must do so
shuts down. Shut down times will be listed on the website and
sometimes change depending on the social ( usually 10:00pm ). If
you or your spouse goes upstairs to the party floor during or after the
party then there are NO Refunds, Period. Once you ask for a
refund you can not attend for at least 13 months and will not be given
the same refund privilege of a refund if you join again. We have
these rules as there are some couples who tend to abuse the system.
sort of people are in the lifestyle?
Average people such as yourself. Primarily in the socio-economic middle
to upper class. Members are mature, happy, and exploring people with a
zest for living and a curiosity of life who on the average enjoy a good
Contrary to popular belief couples do not get involved in the lifestyle
out of boredom but out of a sense of adventure instead. Basically
couples who already enjoy a good relationship and want to add another
dimension. It is a shared experience that appeals to their sexual and
emotional needs and fantasies.
Allowing couples to explore these desires together rather than apart. Couples with troubles in their relationship are
cautioned not to get involved in the lifestyle.
No. With so much to recommend, like many other things, swinging is not
for everyone. If swinging poses a threat, or is not of interest, to
either part of a couple, swinging would not be pleasurable therefore not
advised. If it is something of interest to both parts of the couple, and
you feel able to handle it, explore swinging and the experience.
the lifestyle as fun and exiting as I have heard it is?
You bet it is! It is every bit as erotic, exciting, and fulfilling as
you imagine it to be. You can explore your favorite fantasies securely!
You can engage in private and intimate sexual activities, share your
mate in a threesome, enjoy another couple, or engage in the famous group
swinging, all in one evening!
our relationship be damaged at a swing club?
As we have stated before, if you are having problems in your
relationship, or swing does not appeal to both parties in a couple,
swinging is not recommended. But for secure open minded couples,
relationships reportedly have generally been improved with swinging.
is a shared activity that promotes understanding, intimacy, honesty, and
we have to join any activities?
NO! Absolutely not. You are free to experience your own erotic adventure
without getting others involved if you so choose. Many are just looking
for a little extra excitement to spice up their own relationship. Some
members are active in the lifestyle, some are exhibitionists, others are
voyeurs, some are into fetish wear. Yet all are open minded, fun loving
kind of music do you play?
We have a DJ that plays the best of today's latest sounds.
there a dress code for the club?
Generally speaking, for men is a pair of dress slacks and a sports shirt
while ladies come dressed sexy and sensuous without being
"overly" exposed. Many members look for the theme of that
evenings event and come dressed accordingly. The main thing to stress is
to dress for yourself, be comfortable but not sloppy or trashy!!
is the average age?
While age is not an issue, our members generally range from the late
20's to the early 50's with the bulk being between the 30's and 40's.
our names given out to outside agencies or other club members?
NO!! Never. Your name, address, and phone numbers are personal and kept
strictly confidential! We never give out this information even to other
club members without your permission.
are a minority or interracial
couple. Will we be discriminated against?
The club does not discriminate based on
age, color, creed, social
class, education, or income. We are an EOLO (Equal Opportunity Lifestyle
Organization). Some couples
about having sex with another race. I.E. A lot of white women's fantasies
are about being with some one of another color and visa versa. This is about
variety, the spice of life!
if we meet an acquaintance?
If this happens it will be a surprise for both parties. Greeting each
other is the best thing to do. Most of these types of meetings will
result in a better relationship with that acquaintance. Remember, they
are there for the same reasons you are. They are not going to tell
anyone you were there because you could tell on them. Probably you will
have a good laugh in the beginning and might benefit from the friendship
you already have.
a woman ask another woman to dance?
Sure, a lot of women who come to the club are attracted to other women.
When the feeling is mutual it may end up in a very erotic experience. Displays
of bisexuality is accepted
and encouraged among women while it is strongly discouraged among men.
This is the general conception throughout the lifestyle. Call it what
you will, but just watch any porn movie. You will never see two men
together in a "straight" film, but will always see women
are very shy but would like to meet another couple.
As a group members are friendly and outgoing people, but it's a two-way
street. You should introduce yourself to others. If you are unusually
shy, or the group appears cliquish, ask the host to make some
introductions for you. Don't be a wall flower. Also don't set your
expectations too high. Look for couples within your own age group,
weight, cleanliness, etc. This could avoid a disappointing evening.
we be up-front about our sexual likes and dislikes?
It is essential that everyone know up-front what they are getting into,
and avoid an embarrassing situation later on. As a rule of thumb it is
always good to let the other couple know what your limitations are.
is generally easier if the two couples can go off and discuss your
limitations before an encounter rather than during. Then let the girls
lead the way.
we are local and our schedule is unpredictable, is it mandatory we get a
room in the hotel to attend?
No. It is not mandatory you get a room.
are very curious about the lifestyle. Can you send literature?
Because of the wealth of information on the net, we feel everything you
need is there. Please take time to look through some of the links on our
saw on your site that single females can attend. Can you give me
a rough estimate on how many?
Sometimes two to three though it may vary.
There is no certain way to tell exactly how many single ladies will
attend at any given time.
your Friday night social the same as Saturday Night? What should
we wear? How many couples should we expect?
First, if you notice that the social starts
at 9:00pm. This is because most people work on Friday so we start
the social a little later. This gives people time to go home from
work, get ready and a little extra time to get to the hotel. Also,
there are allot of couples that come from DC, Hampton Roads,
Western VA, NC and even MD. Again, most people dress to impress
however anything but ripped up pants or nasty T shirts. This is
not a low class club. Nice jeans are fine. There are
about a third the amount of couples that show up for Fridays dance.
There is no theme unless it lands on a holiday.
This is our first time to
VAF. Since the "New Comers Seminar" is only on Saturday night can
we still come on Friday.
By all means! If you have been to another
club it should be no problem. Even if you are new to the Lifestyle
and feel comfortable, then you should check it out. Its a
good way to get a head start and meet people in a calmer atmosphere.
Just abide by the club rules, all ABC laws and respect the hotel staff.
If you have any questions please see the security personnel. Just
don't use the excuse, "I didn't know".
not allow yourself to be forced into a situation you are uncomfortable
with. You should never feel pressured to do anything you do not wish to
do. You are at the club to have fun. Being coerced is not fun.
anyone persists after being told no, please tell the club hosts or
security. Respect others' right to privacy and be discreet.
you see, hear, and where you saw it is all privileged information.
NOT abuse it.
Couples should also click here for additional Info